How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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