I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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