no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
