first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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