Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Less talking, more tequila
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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