dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
