dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
