I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
