So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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