You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
