Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
