dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
