Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I want her autograph on my taint
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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