Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize