i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
