At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
