My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
