god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
