5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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