i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
