I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Naked Twister starts at high noon
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
