YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I would fuck him just for his dog
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize