it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
