How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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