Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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