I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
