i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
