Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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