I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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