I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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