I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
