I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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