Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
