three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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