How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
