He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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