is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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