i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
there is puke in my bra ... again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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