he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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