Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Too much gin, very little bucket
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
