Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize