so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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