We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
