we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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