my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just pynch a tree in the face
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
