you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
