I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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