you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
