Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Michael Bay diarrhea
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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