What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Randomize