I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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