Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
