I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's Friday. Sex?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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