Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
