So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
