i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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