Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
