would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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