then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
