I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
