nut hugger
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i think my cat just said my name.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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