you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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