I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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