How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
